I Suck At Small Talk

What's your favorite food?

I have no f**king clue, if you ask me this same question in eight hours, my answer is going to change, you moron. Right now it's a cheesesteak, tomorrow it's seafood, the next day it's Chinese, then fried chicken, then Mexican.... *sight*

I can't do it. I really can't do it. You want to talk tax policy? I'm game. You want to talk about the new CBA governing Major League Baseball? I'm game. You want to talk about the importance of the U.S. Government continuing to fund NASA? I'm game. You want to shoot the shit about some basic human, every day function? No, not me.

What's your favorite movie?

You're kidding me, right? "Pulp Fiction." Or maybe it's "Goodfellas". Scratch that, it's the "Return of the Jedi." No, that's too nerdy, "Braveheart" is totally me. Nah, i'm into laughing, give me "Beavis and Butt-Head do America." No, that's too risque, actually "Avatar" is totally deep enough for me. No, wait, I wanted "Hurt Locker" to win. Eh, you know what, the Joker in "Dark Knight" was pretty awesome.

Who doesn't have a favorite movie? Who doesn't have a favorite genre? How about the same guy that loves everything except for Rom-Com's basically, and who think "Law and Order SVU" is the only show on TV.

I'm just a terrible human being. No, really. I can't possibly be a human being, I don't even know what my favorite food is.

In short, if you just need to take up some down time with mindless conversation- I'm the worst. Move along.